Thursday, November 24, 2011

Traveling like nobody's business



Hello blog.

How are you lately?

It's been awhile aye.

Sorry for not visiting you that often these days.
Been busy with matters that don't really matter..
Assignments, tests, tests, reports, meetings, assignments.

Just realized lately.
When I'm into something, I'm always in for good, but not for long.
I don't know why but I just do.
Seems like really bad habit that just won't go away since back then.
I just don't know why.

Hello blog.

How are you lately?




I'm back.
:3



noi

Friday, June 17, 2011

Iuniores



Growing up.
We all wanna grow up.
We are desperate to get there.
To grab all the opportunities we can,
To leap.
But to where?

We are so busy trying to get out of the nest,
We don't think the fact that its gonna be cold out there.
Really freaking cold.
Because growing up sometimes mean leaving people behind.


And by the time we stand on our own two feet,
We are standing there,
Alone.


Wish to be a kid again. 
When everything just seemed so huge, far yet simple and plain.

For growing up's sake.

noi

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Deepest appologies


 Yeah I know, its hot like hell and all of us are sweating like a xiao long bao just made it out of the steamer.
I started sweating once I step out of the shower.
I truly, deeply sorry for causing such a havoc.
I'm still learning hard to control my hotness.
I truly sucked at it.

 Maybe nows a good time for some Häagen-Dazs.

Anyways, my finals just started (yeah, when others already ended). 
For those who are stressed out, here's something for you guys.

 Cheers!



noi

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Dear hoodie,



It’s cold and wet today,
As its been raining all day.
On such a cold rainy day,
My hoodie came out from his hiding place to play.

He has been to so many strange places,
He has seen so many unfamiliar faces.
He was in a class which teaches English,
But the lesson was so dumb and childish.

Then he got into a huge library,
Where it’s quiet, peaceful and yet lonely.
"So this is where he came every day,
Just to take a glimpse of that girl," he said.

After a long and tiring day,
He made his way back to where he came.

And so before he got back 
into his little secret hiding place,
Hear what my lil white hoodie he has to say,

"Hi and bye to all the strange faces i met today,
Lots who have lost their souls and are just walking dead.
Waiting, praying and still waiting,
Hoping that as the day ends,
Everything will be OK."



Dear hoodie,

Thank you for accompanying me today,
Keeping me warm and let me feel safe.
As I took the long scary path back today,
You made it short and warm, there’s no need to be afraid.


I dedicate this post to friends out there,
No matter if you’re in Malaysia, Singapore, Australia or USA.
Days can be harsh, cold and difficult in many ways,
There are still friends for you to rely on, phone for you to ring
And shoulders for you to cry on as you are about to break.

Until we meet again, someday
Stay strong, happy and healthy in every way.
Keep that wide smile on your face,
And walk the path of life in big bold steady pace.



Thank you my lil white hoodie,
you just made my day.





With love,
noi

Monday, March 14, 2011

Redundant


Im lonely, im tired, im sad, im happy, im lucky, im unlucky; im a million different things every day of the week.


But I suppose ok is one of them.




Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", what I really need is someone to look into my eyes and say,



"I know you are not."
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Friday, March 11, 2011

I'm ok



在一个孤独的夜晚
在一个无助、无奈的情况之下
就在你即将崩溃的那一刻


说出一句 "I'm ok, 你呢?"


不容易  不简单  

不好受


不应该。


但,还是说了。



黑洞也会有垮倒的一天
只是  太黑 太深 太远了

它静静的


垮了。




ps. PATRICK, no need to highlight. Nothing to see. LOL

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

情人节 - 单身之旅
























每当满天繁星的夜空

心中总有一点点虚空

也许单身也是一种享受
也许单身也是一种习惯
也许已没有也许 - 邓丽君
LOL

怎么办


noi

你是我唯一的期待
也是我唯一的无奈
if knowing you was a mistake
you'd be the best mistake i've ever make


Thursday, February 10, 2011

别怪他




也许,不会拒绝、成全别人,一直是他摆脱不了的劣根。


这不是善良,不是无私,更不是响应完美宿命的暗示,而是真的学不会。他不忍心看见别人难过伤心,不忍心两个人的气氛变得比一个人的寂寞更加复杂艰辛,所以他只能一次次地勉强自己,接受放弃。

他很想单纯,极力只为一个人付出。


但是,他那单纯的复杂伤害了很多人,更被很多人复杂却单纯地伤害。当他回过头去,发现自己追求的和追求自己的,都不断择路而逃,而且逃得有些仓促,有些彻底。所以,他有时很害怕,也很无助。

千百年浸泡在水里,坚强,是他永远也习染不得的性格,好在,他的懦弱已经能够若无其事地承受各式各样的告别挥手。完美和理想,不过是别人在他落败之后强加给他的最为俗套最为隔阂的眼光。没有人知道,他在这样并不纯净、极为染尘的浑水里,接受着怎样的悲哀,又还坚持着怎样的微笑和不被溺亡。

在已经被误解的一次次更迭里,他却怀抱着所有的记忆,不知是不肯丢掉,还是丢之不掉,甚至连选择性失忆都做不到。


有时,他逼迫自己忘记。他怕每一次想起会心有不甘,怕每一次提起更毁了一些东西,并遗害下一次,尽管它不想再有下一次的同命。所以,在故作坚强的现实里,他希望任何人不要帮助自己想起,更不要那么轻易、那么戏谑地随时把他的遭遇当作话题,甚至笑柄。否则,他的善良有时会变得很邪恶。

他早已告诉自己告诉别人,习惯一个人。


但是谁又真的知道,他其实甚至不能适应一个人生活,何能习惯。习惯没有别人的世界,不过是他无能为力地坚强拖辞。他只能隐忍接受这一切,甚至只能彻底撤离所有人的世界。

其实,只要谁能留给他一丝渺茫的希望,他都会坚持呼吸,他都会说服自己。


可是,过往,他被一次次推开了。推开了双臂,然后,推开了世界。 他已经不敢回头了,也只能不回头了。他一步一步游出这个以及那个的世界,游向自己一个人的世界。

不需要别人的嘘寒问暖,
不需要别人的清淡关心。

不必懂。他究竟鼓足了多少勇气把心事说出来,又究竟说没说尽。而你,而她,都可以置之不理。
不必懂。什么都无需懂得。一切的一切,都是他生为双鱼的宿命,以及抗争。



别怪他,因为他是双鱼座。

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Dolce far niente


Life's but a sexual intercourse.

When we were small, we knew nothing about it.
As we grew up, we get a peek of it, learn about it, yearn for it.
Then we have the first taste of it and it brings us to places we never been nor seen before.
After the first time, we grew desperate for more, hoping to get something more out of it every time we had a go on it. 
And til one point, we grew tired of it. It seems to be dull and boring, and now we seek for something new.

But still, we hope to settle down someday with someone we fond of in some distant place for the rest of our life.


"In life, the first sex is always exciting. But the second act, thats where the depth comes in."

Life's but a sexual intercourse.
So fucking get used to it.



Life,  fuck you no time!
noi

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Just an ordinary day


Even in his laughter there was something missing.

He never seemed to be truly happy; he just seemed to be passing time while he waited for something else.
He was tired of existing; he wanted to live.
But what was the point of living when there was no life in it?

These questions went through his mind over and over until he reach the point not wanting to wake up from his dreams-they were what felt real.

It was said that one day he would be happy again and that this feeling would just be a distant memory.



It was getting to that day was the hard part.
noi

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

怪仔



一路以来
我是你的专属避风港湾
等待着你的归来

你是船只
到四方去闯
到海角去探的船只

我是港湾
默默的等待
你船只归来的港湾

你回来了的时候

带了好多的故事和照片
我的舞台 只让你表演


你渴望精彩、飘荡
闯出你的天空

我希望 你不在流浪
但那只会是一场梦

不久 
你又将离去,继续你的飘荡

而我
只能静静的,期待你下次的归来



期待

等待

无奈

只为你归来的 那一线精彩



一路以来
我是你的专属避风港湾
等待着你的归来

也许有一天
你会找到另一个属于你的港湾 


真的没关系
我会安静的离去





Sunday, January 9, 2011

Beers, Cake and Macaroons?


Patrick Tang EU HAN's 21st birthday.   :)






Beers, Tequila and Submarines?
Ain't bringing the black hole down!


Happy birthday devilicious Patrick Tang EU HAN!


noi

Sunday, January 2, 2011

TwentyTen - Friends



Another morning feels like yesterday.

Sooner than you could realize it, 2010 had come to an end. 
Feels like its just yesterday I wrote the post bout 2009.

So many have happened last year. So many things have changed. There's just too many.
The end of high school.
The beginning of university.
The book of life have just started a whole new chapter. 

Twenty ten started rocky and thorny for me. 
The first six months was a mess, a haywire, a torture i should say.
Picking up the pieces tossed and left behind by others alone wasn't something easy.
In fact, its hard.
Being dissed and abandoned. 
You feel like you're the only one who's ever felt this way.
There's no turning back but to keep on moving to put back all the pieces.

Thats when I discovered what true friends mean. 
They aren't the ones who post status or comments on facebook about you.
They aren't the ones who message you and tell you call them if you need any help.
They aren't the ones who go missing when you really need them.

They are the ones who didn't even have time to log onto facebook.
They are the ones who phone you no matter day or night wanting you to give them something to do.
They are the ones who stayed at your house for freaking 8 hours to correct some stupid ads by some retard.
They are the ones who showed up without needing you to tell.

They are the ones who helped me gone through the fucking six months.

As I rushed through the first six months, the month where friends started to departure has arrived again.


May, June and July.
That time was by far the best time of my life.
It was the time where you cherish your friendship most as friends are starting to depart to where their future brings them to.


Gathering, outing, apartment stay, barbecue, playing basketball at school for the last time, even a simple lunch and McDonald's, everything just seems so precious.



The excitement of taking the first step into the next stage of life and yet the grudge of leaving behind friends, family and hometown that we have lived for the past 2 decades.


Just before we could get fully prepared for what's to come, university starts.
Meeting strangers from far away lands, living in an all new environment with unfamiliar faces.
All that you can cling one was few friends that came with you. Even that doesn't hold on for long.
In a whole new environment, unexpected things happen. Even the closest friends may turn to foe.
Nobody knows.


Then things start to change.
New friends, new mates, new faces.
You could find similarities between new and old friends.
The ones with same "patterns", the ones that won't stop chatting once you get the talking started.
Even the ones that you dislike for some certain reasons, they all seemed to come together around you but in a different look and voice.
The way they annoys you may differ but still, the effect is the same.


And then we have the reunions.
Back at hometown, old friends come together after being parted some half a year.



Things change fast.
Yes we do meet, we do chat.
Sometimes I just felt that something went missing.
Its that feeling, that intimacy we had before, the closeness, the implicit recognition. 
Its somehow, missing.

最熟悉的陌生人, he said.



This was my new year resolutions for 2009
1. Not to lose anything
2. Gain some weight
3. Stop gaining height
4. Shoot more photos and update more frequently
5. Fill the other half of me

Didn't lose anything important but faith and trust.
Did gained some weight.
Didn't stop growing yet.
Stopped taking photos for some time and have been abandoning my blog for quite some time.
Am still single.

Nothing much seems to be accomplished since 2009.


For 2010
1. Gain back lots of things that were once mine.

2. Active and productive.
3. Get back into photography and blogging in a whole new perspective.
4. Fill the other half of me (still -.-)

Time changes everything.
New year ahead upholds new challenges to face.

Cherish the past, grasp the present, embrace the future.



Another morning feels like yesterday.


Just my way of saying, Happy New Year!


noi